Red tape

Australia gives off this wonderful attitude of being a really easy country to live in - the people are friendly, the weather is great, everything is pretty relaxed. Not so. When it comes to bureaucracy and red tape they'd give the Swiss a run for their money. Last week I lost my bank card - an inconvenience at the best of times. It was duly replaced but instead of being able to change my PIN at an ATM, I had to go in to the bank to do so, producing at least two forms of identification in the process. The teller had to print off a form for me to sign, confirming this change but the printer wasn't working so I sat there waiting, fury mounting at the precious time being wasted. However, as Australia' financial regulations are some of the strictest in the world and therefore the safest, I was prepared to accept such stringent measures, especially when the teller saw my exasperation and waived the need to sign the form.

Not so at the Post Office. Now, I don't know about you, but I have always found post offices to be the last true outposts of officialdom. The tellers always wield a certain power, smug in the knowledge that you not only have to use them to send your important parcels, but to certify your passport applications, witness documents or transfer money. They are virtually omniscient. When I attempt to send a CD of wedding photos overseas, there is thinly-veiled glee in the teller's voice as she tells me it requires a customs check and I will need to provide -yes you've guessed it - two forms of ID in order to send this potentially subversive material. More form-filling, signatures and an official scrutiny of driving licences, marriage certificates, birth certificates and passports (well, almost) and I am free to post my explosive package.